2B || !2B

So, it's kind of been slowly sinking in for a while now, but hit a little harder today, that I graduate in about 7 months and I have no idea what I'm going to do or where I'm going ot go. For some reason answering questions at freshmen seminar really got me thinking that I have no plan, and no idea what's going to happen... and it scares me. And a lot of the problem is I don't really have anyone, or feel like I have anyone, I can talk to this about. Part of me really wants to go to grad school and get my masters, but the other part of me questions what I would do with it. I honestly don't know, I don't know what I want to do. I really hate uncertainty, it makes me nervous. And everybody tells me it'll all work out... but for everything to work out I need to make some decisions and for some reason that's really hard. Ideally I would both apply for jobs as well as take the GRE's and apply to grad schools, but I just don't see time for all of that. Both are rather intensive processes, and for grad school, most universities have a deadline of January or February 1st. If I do decide to do the grad school route I need to figure out what I want to do. UPenn has a really cool masters program, CGGT (Computer Graphics and Game Technology), which is new, and is very much in my area of interest. At the same time it's very narrow and I think maybe HCI (Human Computer Interaction) would be a better way to go. The more I think about it the more I think grad school is where I want to go, but on the same token having a real job would nice. Being a student wears on you, granted there's "less work" when you're a grad student, but it's just work/homework in a different sense. With a job, your work typically falls between the hours of 8am and 6pm, at which point you're done and can spend the rest of your time how you like... that and you actually have real money in your pocket. Being a semi-poor college student, as most of you probably know, gets kind of old. I don't know, I never thought I'd actually be having the debate with myself about grad school. I always thought I'd do my undergrad in 4 years, get a job, and be done with school. But now that I'm at that point, I.... I like school, and I like learning, and I kind of want to continue for a couple more years. Get a little more specialized, more focused. I need to get it figured out, get all my little ducks in a row and get going on things... but I'm just so torn. Most employers will pay for, or do tuition reimbursement, for their employees to go to grad school, but that's typically under the stipulation that you go for something that would contribute to your job. I'm not sure that what I want to do would fall under that category. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't in most cases. Ultimately it boils down to I don't know what I should do. The more I think about it the more it seems like I should go to grad school... but part of me keeps saying I'm just putting of part off my life by doing that. I guess that really isn't that big of a deal though, I've been putting off certain parts of my life for years, but I'm not going to get into that. *sigh* This obviously isn't going to get resolved tonight, so the internal battle will continue to rage. Any advice, opinions etc. are welcome... the best would be someone to talk to who is going through this, or has gone through this, but I don't see that happening. Oh well.

Sneeze * 4 = Orgasm

The following conversation is a loose recap of the conversation that occurred while working on physics pre-lab:

Me: *sneeze*

Ooly: Did you know every sneeze is equivalent to one quarter of an orgasm

Me: What? So does that mean if you sneeze 4 times you've in effect orgasmed?

You're probably thinking "WTF?" which is what I thought too, and I don't claim to understand it, but it was funny so I thought I'd share. Thank you, that is all.

I less than 3 Boheme

So I totally love Boheme. It is like the best place ever. Couple weekends ago we went to Club Element for Leah's birthday... and it... well bluntly it pretty much sucked. The atmosphere was terrible, music wasn't that great... I dunno, Boheme kind of spoils you. It's small, but the people who go there are cool, the music is awesome, and the DJ is the best ever! Anyway... back to my little story. So we went tonight, and usually we don't go on Thursdays because of class and homework and what not. But it turns out that Thursdays are techno, which is cool, and something different than what we're used to. Usually we go on Friday nights, which is international music night, and they play a lot of Desi, Latin, etc. Techno night is the shizzle, there are way less people, and the ones that are there don't really dance. So it's just 4 of us (me, Heidi, Dita and Ash) out there dancing, and some random chick who was there comes up to us as she's leaving, gives us all a smack on the ass and a hug and proceeds to tell us that we rock. It was really random, but kinda cool at the same time. It's not everyday that some random chick you've never met before walks up, smacks your ass and tells you you rock. Later, we finally got some of the other people there to dance too, and we were having fun, and we look over at one of the couches and there's soft core porn going on right there in the club. The were making out, and this guys hands were going everywhere, on her boobs, on her crotch... it was grotesque... talk about PDA gone awry. Though, I must admit, it was good for a laugh. Overall techno night was a total blast. We need to make a habit of going every (or almost every) Thursday and Friday night!

In other news... WE BEAT THE HAWKS!!! I never thought we could do it, but they came out totally flat, we took out their QB and kicked their sorry asses all the way back to Iowa City. PWN3D! It's good to be a Cyclone. Needless to say, when basketball season comes around, they'd better bring it, 'cause they're coming to the big house, and if they don't we're going to wipe Hilton with them. I almost feel sorry for Adam Haluska, it's his big homecoming. I hope he's gotten some balls since he left... he's gonna need them.

There was other stuff I was going to pontificate about, but it's currently almost 3AM and I'm no longer thinking very clearly. So there will be more later when I remember what it is I wanted to write about. I know I said this last time too... but this time I really mean it. Promise. *hearts*

PS: A free show, good music, good friends, and a slap on the ass... gotta say, makes for a pretty good/interesting night.

PPS: I totally forgot to mention the transvestite in the red pleather with the 5 o'clock shadow. Maybe she'll come next week and we can get her to dance w/ us.

Insomnia

So, I've got a little bit of insomnia going on, mostly due to the fact that my mind is going about a million miles an hour. It's mostly the whole grad school vs. real job thing. I have no idea what I want to do and career fair is in a week and a half, and I haven't signed up or even started studying for the gre's. I also haven't updated my resume, which I really need to get on, because I've had a couple people offer to give it to people they know. Mostly it boils down to I have no idea what I really want to do. Unlike I had hoped, the internship didn't really get me any closer to that point. If anything it may have set me back a bit... then again it did kind of show me what I don't want to be doing. Unfortunately IT and IT consulting is a lot of the market right now. I'm still just so scattered all over the place and haven't found that one thing (or even 2 things) that I'm good at and love. So along with the mountain of homework/work I have I need to start figuring out the rest of my life in the next few weeks. Not my whole life... just the next few years of it, which right now seems like a lot. It'd probably help if I had time to find me again.

There was other stuff I wanted to write about, but I'm no longer forming cohesive thoughts... so more later.