2B || !2B

So, it's kind of been slowly sinking in for a while now, but hit a little harder today, that I graduate in about 7 months and I have no idea what I'm going to do or where I'm going ot go. For some reason answering questions at freshmen seminar really got me thinking that I have no plan, and no idea what's going to happen... and it scares me. And a lot of the problem is I don't really have anyone, or feel like I have anyone, I can talk to this about. Part of me really wants to go to grad school and get my masters, but the other part of me questions what I would do with it. I honestly don't know, I don't know what I want to do. I really hate uncertainty, it makes me nervous. And everybody tells me it'll all work out... but for everything to work out I need to make some decisions and for some reason that's really hard. Ideally I would both apply for jobs as well as take the GRE's and apply to grad schools, but I just don't see time for all of that. Both are rather intensive processes, and for grad school, most universities have a deadline of January or February 1st. If I do decide to do the grad school route I need to figure out what I want to do. UPenn has a really cool masters program, CGGT (Computer Graphics and Game Technology), which is new, and is very much in my area of interest. At the same time it's very narrow and I think maybe HCI (Human Computer Interaction) would be a better way to go. The more I think about it the more I think grad school is where I want to go, but on the same token having a real job would nice. Being a student wears on you, granted there's "less work" when you're a grad student, but it's just work/homework in a different sense. With a job, your work typically falls between the hours of 8am and 6pm, at which point you're done and can spend the rest of your time how you like... that and you actually have real money in your pocket. Being a semi-poor college student, as most of you probably know, gets kind of old. I don't know, I never thought I'd actually be having the debate with myself about grad school. I always thought I'd do my undergrad in 4 years, get a job, and be done with school. But now that I'm at that point, I.... I like school, and I like learning, and I kind of want to continue for a couple more years. Get a little more specialized, more focused. I need to get it figured out, get all my little ducks in a row and get going on things... but I'm just so torn. Most employers will pay for, or do tuition reimbursement, for their employees to go to grad school, but that's typically under the stipulation that you go for something that would contribute to your job. I'm not sure that what I want to do would fall under that category. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't in most cases. Ultimately it boils down to I don't know what I should do. The more I think about it the more it seems like I should go to grad school... but part of me keeps saying I'm just putting of part off my life by doing that. I guess that really isn't that big of a deal though, I've been putting off certain parts of my life for years, but I'm not going to get into that. *sigh* This obviously isn't going to get resolved tonight, so the internal battle will continue to rage. Any advice, opinions etc. are welcome... the best would be someone to talk to who is going through this, or has gone through this, but I don't see that happening. Oh well.